I have 4 kids and they see the dentist twice a year. One of them sees the orthodontist every 6 weeks. They all see the doctor once or twice a year and one had a series of therapists and psychiatrists for a 2 year period. That's an average of 6.7 appoints per kid per year, or 26.8 appointments per year. I have to schedule the appointments around my teaching schedule, their school activities and never during PE or lunch but anytime during math or algebra. Thanks to my iPhone that I have had for the past 4 years I no longer have to read the outdated Parents, People or Orthodontics Today magazines.
Chris Rock once said his main job as a father is to keep his daughters off the pole (a stripper pole for those of you not in the know), well I have a slightly longer list: they should graduate from high school OR get their GED to enter college or the military earlier than expected; they need to have more real teeth than caps and fillings in their mouth when they finally move out (I hope this comes between the ages of 18 and 24); they should not become pregnant or impregnate someone before the age of 25 (I may make an exception if they have a job and a degree at 23 or 24 and do not live with me anymore); they need to know how to do a decent internet search and avoid identity theft online; they should know the difference between a sound business plan and a pyramid scheme; they should also know never to refinance their house except for home repairs or improvements and to never sign a 30 year mortgage (15 or 20 years at the most); they should know never to buy a car new and they should always have full coverage; they should leave a place better than when they got there (that gem comes from my mom); they should take care of their bodies inside and out because where are they going to live if they don't? (that nugget came from my dad the PE teacher); and stay off the pole.
So it seems I have my work cut out for me. During those car trips to all the various appointments me and the kids have a lot to talk about. I'm thinking about having Summer cram sessions and testing them every 3 years to monitor their progress. My oldest needs a ride to her college writing class tomorrow, so maybe we should review the mortgage stuff while we go through the Starbucks drive-thru to get our morning coffee. What do you want for your kids before they fly the coop?
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Me? Not nurturing? No way!
Many moons ago, when I was an assistant speech & debate coach at Portland State University, I had a student say that as a coach I was not being very nurturing (I was seen as the 'mom' coach that had kids, made sure the debate team had healthy snacks and always had tape, glue or scissors for visual aid emergencies). I had just advised him that his half-assed attempt at an argument would not win a debate even if his opponent was a giraffe. He was a very good speaker and debater and at this point in the season he was getting a little cocky and also a little lazy with his arguments. To help him be a better debater I needed to call him out on this one. I told him my job was to help him grow and that he should look up the definition of nurturing, because I was pretty darn sure it didn't say inflate their egos or avoid accurately criticizing their performance fearing that you might break their fragile spirit. By the way, the definition of nurturing from Merriam Websters is: 1) to supply with nourishment, 2) educate, and 3) to further the development of. He went on to win regionals in several events including debate and we took him to the national tournament.
I think I am a very nurturing parent. I provide for my children's needs but I also try not to do things for them that they can do for themselves. I will high-five a kid for a perfect spelling test and question how prepared they were when they only get 70% correct. I am by no means a Tiger mom. Maybe you are familiar with the term and recent book published by an Asian-American mom who pushes her girls to be superior in all areas (such as performing at Carnegie Hall). I want my kids to excel at things they are good at and things they enjoy, but they will have a lot to do with choosing those activities. I believe in exposing them to opportunities and holding them to their commitments of taking classes or being on a team. Am I sad that I only have one kid left who plays soccer? Of course I am a little sad, but I know they benefited from their soccer experiences, we had time together as player and coach, and they know mom is still the best soccer player in the family.
I look at parenting and coaching very similarly. There can only be one 'best' anything. We can't all have children talented enough to play at Carnegie Hall or smart enough to win the national spelling bee, its statistically impossible. I want my kids to try and be the best but I want them to know the odds and to still enjoy an activity and the journey, even if they are the worst. Over 70% of us parents will have average kids and I think average is great. Average people everyday build houses, make bread, heal the sick, and get coffee for my favorite movie producer. Average people make the world go around. I am not suggesting we squash dreams or tell our kids they can't do something they set their mind to, but be honest with them and yourself about what it will take for them to achieve those goals. Nourish their bodies and minds, educate them as best you can, and further their development with a good work ethic, respect for others, and that they should play to their strengths. You want nurturing? I'll show you nurturing. Eat your vegetables, read this book, and sign up for art classes because you are very creative and great at sketching freehand:-)
I think I am a very nurturing parent. I provide for my children's needs but I also try not to do things for them that they can do for themselves. I will high-five a kid for a perfect spelling test and question how prepared they were when they only get 70% correct. I am by no means a Tiger mom. Maybe you are familiar with the term and recent book published by an Asian-American mom who pushes her girls to be superior in all areas (such as performing at Carnegie Hall). I want my kids to excel at things they are good at and things they enjoy, but they will have a lot to do with choosing those activities. I believe in exposing them to opportunities and holding them to their commitments of taking classes or being on a team. Am I sad that I only have one kid left who plays soccer? Of course I am a little sad, but I know they benefited from their soccer experiences, we had time together as player and coach, and they know mom is still the best soccer player in the family.
I look at parenting and coaching very similarly. There can only be one 'best' anything. We can't all have children talented enough to play at Carnegie Hall or smart enough to win the national spelling bee, its statistically impossible. I want my kids to try and be the best but I want them to know the odds and to still enjoy an activity and the journey, even if they are the worst. Over 70% of us parents will have average kids and I think average is great. Average people everyday build houses, make bread, heal the sick, and get coffee for my favorite movie producer. Average people make the world go around. I am not suggesting we squash dreams or tell our kids they can't do something they set their mind to, but be honest with them and yourself about what it will take for them to achieve those goals. Nourish their bodies and minds, educate them as best you can, and further their development with a good work ethic, respect for others, and that they should play to their strengths. You want nurturing? I'll show you nurturing. Eat your vegetables, read this book, and sign up for art classes because you are very creative and great at sketching freehand:-)
Monday, April 23, 2012
It's All About the Smoothies
This morning my oldest son and I were sharing a strawberry, banana, soy yogurt and ground flax seed smoothie during our morning commute to his school. He asked, "now that you have discovered the blender will we be having smoothies for dinner?" That is not a bad idea with Summer around the corner. I dug out the blender last week to make smoothies for my gluten & dairy free diet. I made a few for the kids and they started requesting them in the morning, after school and for a late night snack (not all on the same day). That's the beauty of the smoothie, they are easy to make and can suit any time of day.
Smoothies are an easy way to sneak healthy foods into your kids diets. They don't know the flax seed is in the smoothie, they just think its pieces of the berries. You can also smuggle some vegetables by them, but my kids actually like steamed broccoli, asparagus and green beans, so what I do want to get them to consume more of is cow's milk or one of the alternatives I will be using in my smoothies. In a world full of fast food, 7-11's and aisles of junk food at the grocery store, its nice to know I can make something at home from quality ingredients and my kids will like it. You can sneak in some wheat germ, spirulina or vitamin C, but the trick is to not over do it on the smoothies. My kids like many others can easily get bored with the same choices, so finding new ingredients and combining them in different ways is key. I have also found cool glasses, like the skinny ones used for Italian sodas, can make smoothies fun. I have a pack of bendy straws handy as well.
Tomorrow morning I am off to the local farmers market to grab some new ingredients for this week's smoothies. Maybe some kiwis, mangoes and definitely some bananas. We have tried them with soy milk and soy yogurt, but I also want to try some almond milk or rice milk, and maybe that yogurt made from coconut milk. So get out your blender and start dumping stuff in, but try not to add any sweeteners (table sugar, Splenda, Sweet 'N Low, and stevia to name a few). Even stevia can mess with your metabolism, telling your brain some calories from sugar are coming, but there are none. This often causes your body to send out too much insulin and its this process that has started many on their way to Type II diabetes. Take it from someone who used to use sugar for a pick me up, but once I cut out the sugar (and yes that meant nothing in my morning coffee, which I am also cutting from my diet soon) I don't need sugar for an energy or mood boost. Chop, grind and blend away!
Smoothies are an easy way to sneak healthy foods into your kids diets. They don't know the flax seed is in the smoothie, they just think its pieces of the berries. You can also smuggle some vegetables by them, but my kids actually like steamed broccoli, asparagus and green beans, so what I do want to get them to consume more of is cow's milk or one of the alternatives I will be using in my smoothies. In a world full of fast food, 7-11's and aisles of junk food at the grocery store, its nice to know I can make something at home from quality ingredients and my kids will like it. You can sneak in some wheat germ, spirulina or vitamin C, but the trick is to not over do it on the smoothies. My kids like many others can easily get bored with the same choices, so finding new ingredients and combining them in different ways is key. I have also found cool glasses, like the skinny ones used for Italian sodas, can make smoothies fun. I have a pack of bendy straws handy as well.
Tomorrow morning I am off to the local farmers market to grab some new ingredients for this week's smoothies. Maybe some kiwis, mangoes and definitely some bananas. We have tried them with soy milk and soy yogurt, but I also want to try some almond milk or rice milk, and maybe that yogurt made from coconut milk. So get out your blender and start dumping stuff in, but try not to add any sweeteners (table sugar, Splenda, Sweet 'N Low, and stevia to name a few). Even stevia can mess with your metabolism, telling your brain some calories from sugar are coming, but there are none. This often causes your body to send out too much insulin and its this process that has started many on their way to Type II diabetes. Take it from someone who used to use sugar for a pick me up, but once I cut out the sugar (and yes that meant nothing in my morning coffee, which I am also cutting from my diet soon) I don't need sugar for an energy or mood boost. Chop, grind and blend away!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Birth of a Blog
Hello, everyone. This is my first blog entry and it has been a long time coming. I first thought about writing a blog over a year ago, but then my responsibilities kept me from focusing on my blog. I also suffer occasionally from perfectionism which keeps me from doing things until I feel I can do them...well perfectly. I know that no one and nothing is perfect and I just need to get out of my own way and do what needs to be done.
I have been trying to lose the baby weight for many years. My oldest is 18 now so I have tried just about everything to regain what I once had, or more accurately lose what I didn't use to have;) I am now going gluten, dairy and sugar free to see if resetting my metabolism is the key. In the process I'm sure me and the kids will all develop better eating habits, discover new foods, and find new ways of preparing some old favorites.
Spring is a great time of year for me because the kids can play outside more (which means less noise and messes in the house, as well as less pent up energy when they come back inside). Everyone pitches in to make the yard look good and we start eating snacks and meals out back. The nicer weather also makes it easier for the boys to wash my car and enjoy doing it. I walked to the post office and grocery store while my SUV sat in the driveway and one of the kids rode his skateboard to the store to get some water balloons.
Spring is when things grow and it signals rebirth, so it is a fitting time for the blogging/writing part of my life to begin. I hope you come back and visit my blog again, because who knows what crazy stuff I'll write about or what parenting issue we can toil over together. I just know sometimes its nice to get another mom's perspective on all the stuff we have to deal with daily. Now go get some iced tea and read a good book outside somewhere.
I have been trying to lose the baby weight for many years. My oldest is 18 now so I have tried just about everything to regain what I once had, or more accurately lose what I didn't use to have;) I am now going gluten, dairy and sugar free to see if resetting my metabolism is the key. In the process I'm sure me and the kids will all develop better eating habits, discover new foods, and find new ways of preparing some old favorites.
Spring is a great time of year for me because the kids can play outside more (which means less noise and messes in the house, as well as less pent up energy when they come back inside). Everyone pitches in to make the yard look good and we start eating snacks and meals out back. The nicer weather also makes it easier for the boys to wash my car and enjoy doing it. I walked to the post office and grocery store while my SUV sat in the driveway and one of the kids rode his skateboard to the store to get some water balloons.
Spring is when things grow and it signals rebirth, so it is a fitting time for the blogging/writing part of my life to begin. I hope you come back and visit my blog again, because who knows what crazy stuff I'll write about or what parenting issue we can toil over together. I just know sometimes its nice to get another mom's perspective on all the stuff we have to deal with daily. Now go get some iced tea and read a good book outside somewhere.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)