When Your Baby Is No Longer A Baby

My daughter is now 20 years old and making her own decisions.  I may not always agree with them, but shouldn't I always be the one she can count on when it things get tough?  She was recently burned in a fire and has been in the hospital for almost a month.  Healing from burns is one of the hardest and longest recoveries.  She is so brave and strong everyday as the doctors and nurses help her through each step.  The hardest thing for a parent is that you can't take away their pain in this situation, you can only try to support them and love them as best you can.  It is hard to watch them hurt and to struggle, but its not about me, its about her...my baby.


My daughter is very intelligent (probably too smart for her own good) and a talented musician.  She is looking forward to being able to move her hands and arms well enough to start playing the ukulele again.  Everyday I visit her and try to focus on the positive, such as her progress and how soon she will be back to normal (not everything is really that soon but we try not to dwell on that).  I try to focus on her moving forward and making future plans, because sitting there in a hospital with your skin feeling like pins and needles is very difficult.  She has her good days and her bad days. 


My daughter has lived with me off and on the past couple years, but she will be returning home for her recovery after leaving the hospital.  My baby needs me, but she doesn't want to need me.  She is so proud and wants to be self sufficient, and one of the hardest things about recovery is that she needs help with some of her most basic needs.  I will provide company, love, support and good home cooked food as she regains her strength and confidence.  Watching her walk on her own in the hospital is not unlike watching her take her first steps as a baby:  as a parent you have to fight the instinct to help them because what the need is to just do it themselves.  I just need to be there to help her if she falters or falls.  To pick her back up and tell her she is doing well and can do anything she wants; and right now that's walking without assistance but later that could be traveling or writing a symphony.


What I think I am trying to say is that I am very proud of my daughter and love her with all of my heart.  I will continue to parent her as I have from day one, which is being there for her when she needs me and knowing when I just need to stand on the side and watch her grow, flourish, struggle, blossom, falter and thrive. 


Moms Move Mountains and we sometimes just need to move out of the way and let our babies walk on their own.