My daughter is now 20 years old and making her own decisions. I may not always agree with them, but shouldn't I always be the one she can count on when it things get tough? She was recently burned in a fire and has been in the hospital for almost a month. Healing from burns is one of the hardest and longest recoveries. She is so brave and strong everyday as the doctors and nurses help her through each step. The hardest thing for a parent is that you can't take away their pain in this situation, you can only try to support them and love them as best you can. It is hard to watch them hurt and to struggle, but its not about me, its about her...my baby.
My daughter is very intelligent (probably too smart for her own good) and a talented musician. She is looking forward to being able to move her hands and arms well enough to start playing the ukulele again. Everyday I visit her and try to focus on the positive, such as her progress and how soon she will be back to normal (not everything is really that soon but we try not to dwell on that). I try to focus on her moving forward and making future plans, because sitting there in a hospital with your skin feeling like pins and needles is very difficult. She has her good days and her bad days.
My daughter has lived with me off and on the past couple years, but she will be returning home for her recovery after leaving the hospital. My baby needs me, but she doesn't want to need me. She is so proud and wants to be self sufficient, and one of the hardest things about recovery is that she needs help with some of her most basic needs. I will provide company, love, support and good home cooked food as she regains her strength and confidence. Watching her walk on her own in the hospital is not unlike watching her take her first steps as a baby: as a parent you have to fight the instinct to help them because what the need is to just do it themselves. I just need to be there to help her if she falters or falls. To pick her back up and tell her she is doing well and can do anything she wants; and right now that's walking without assistance but later that could be traveling or writing a symphony.
What I think I am trying to say is that I am very proud of my daughter and love her with all of my heart. I will continue to parent her as I have from day one, which is being there for her when she needs me and knowing when I just need to stand on the side and watch her grow, flourish, struggle, blossom, falter and thrive.
Moms Move Mountains and we sometimes just need to move out of the way and let our babies walk on their own.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Summertime: emphasis on the 'time'.
Well, summer is just around the corner and the daily fight against boredom will begin. I use several distraction techniques like washing the cars and mowing the lawn, but that only lasts for so long. I try to have a special activity each week they can look forward to like going to the water park or the inside trampoline place, but those activities cost money. Water balloons and Nerf footballs help a lot on those stay-at-home but play outside days. Of course they would play Xbox all day if I let them, but I don't.
I have had a yard sale mostly to give the kids something to do and a way to earn a little money. I often suggest that now is a good time to rearrange your room and clean out clothes and 'toys' (I use that term loosely since my boys are 10, 13 and 14 and they do not play with 'toys' anymore) and suggest we get a new poster or make a new pillow case to add something new. We have built forts out of cardboard or made sling shots from twigs and rubber bands. If you add in a little duct tape then shields and armor become a possibility too.
We don't have enough money to do a 'summer vacation' so we have to make do with what we have. Sometimes we'll binge watch DVD's or something on Netflix. I have all 10 seasons of Friends on DVD and my kids love watching them as much as I do and then afterwards we can play my Friends Trivia board game. We also like to watch Malcolm in the Middle or That 70's Show and I recently introduced them to Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Maybe this summer we should start watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer from the beginning:)
Playing card games and other board games are also a good way to pass the time. Are kids ever too young to understand how to play Blackjack? Apples to Apples is a favorite along with the annual Sponge Bob Monopoly marathon or I might just bust out a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that we all chip away at for a few days. Speaking of cards, my boys also like to practice close-up magic and learn new card tricks; some are more convincing than others but it is always entertaining to see them try.
Last, but not least, we try to play more music in the summer. The boys have guitars, ukuleles and keyboards that they are all learning to play ( some better than others, but I won't name names). They are always so proud when they learn to play the theme song from Halo on the keyboard or strum along with a Bruno Mars song on the ukulele.
I am a working parent like most of you probably are, but I find the key to a fun and successful summer is just spending time with the kids regardless of what we are doing. Our summers together are numbered, as I know all too well having one who has flown the coop already. The kids don't need iPads they just need you. I think my boys need to learn how to iron a shirt this summer and how to make lasagna. Its home economics at home...with mom!
Moms move mountains and know to always retain control of the hose when washing the cars together;)
I have had a yard sale mostly to give the kids something to do and a way to earn a little money. I often suggest that now is a good time to rearrange your room and clean out clothes and 'toys' (I use that term loosely since my boys are 10, 13 and 14 and they do not play with 'toys' anymore) and suggest we get a new poster or make a new pillow case to add something new. We have built forts out of cardboard or made sling shots from twigs and rubber bands. If you add in a little duct tape then shields and armor become a possibility too.
We don't have enough money to do a 'summer vacation' so we have to make do with what we have. Sometimes we'll binge watch DVD's or something on Netflix. I have all 10 seasons of Friends on DVD and my kids love watching them as much as I do and then afterwards we can play my Friends Trivia board game. We also like to watch Malcolm in the Middle or That 70's Show and I recently introduced them to Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Maybe this summer we should start watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer from the beginning:)
Playing card games and other board games are also a good way to pass the time. Are kids ever too young to understand how to play Blackjack? Apples to Apples is a favorite along with the annual Sponge Bob Monopoly marathon or I might just bust out a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that we all chip away at for a few days. Speaking of cards, my boys also like to practice close-up magic and learn new card tricks; some are more convincing than others but it is always entertaining to see them try.
Last, but not least, we try to play more music in the summer. The boys have guitars, ukuleles and keyboards that they are all learning to play ( some better than others, but I won't name names). They are always so proud when they learn to play the theme song from Halo on the keyboard or strum along with a Bruno Mars song on the ukulele.
I am a working parent like most of you probably are, but I find the key to a fun and successful summer is just spending time with the kids regardless of what we are doing. Our summers together are numbered, as I know all too well having one who has flown the coop already. The kids don't need iPads they just need you. I think my boys need to learn how to iron a shirt this summer and how to make lasagna. Its home economics at home...with mom!
Moms move mountains and know to always retain control of the hose when washing the cars together;)
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