My daughter is now 20 years old and making her own decisions. I may not always agree with them, but shouldn't I always be the one she can count on when it things get tough? She was recently burned in a fire and has been in the hospital for almost a month. Healing from burns is one of the hardest and longest recoveries. She is so brave and strong everyday as the doctors and nurses help her through each step. The hardest thing for a parent is that you can't take away their pain in this situation, you can only try to support them and love them as best you can. It is hard to watch them hurt and to struggle, but its not about me, its about her...my baby.
My daughter is very intelligent (probably too smart for her own good) and a talented musician. She is looking forward to being able to move her hands and arms well enough to start playing the ukulele again. Everyday I visit her and try to focus on the positive, such as her progress and how soon she will be back to normal (not everything is really that soon but we try not to dwell on that). I try to focus on her moving forward and making future plans, because sitting there in a hospital with your skin feeling like pins and needles is very difficult. She has her good days and her bad days.
My daughter has lived with me off and on the past couple years, but she will be returning home for her recovery after leaving the hospital. My baby needs me, but she doesn't want to need me. She is so proud and wants to be self sufficient, and one of the hardest things about recovery is that she needs help with some of her most basic needs. I will provide company, love, support and good home cooked food as she regains her strength and confidence. Watching her walk on her own in the hospital is not unlike watching her take her first steps as a baby: as a parent you have to fight the instinct to help them because what the need is to just do it themselves. I just need to be there to help her if she falters or falls. To pick her back up and tell her she is doing well and can do anything she wants; and right now that's walking without assistance but later that could be traveling or writing a symphony.
What I think I am trying to say is that I am very proud of my daughter and love her with all of my heart. I will continue to parent her as I have from day one, which is being there for her when she needs me and knowing when I just need to stand on the side and watch her grow, flourish, struggle, blossom, falter and thrive.
Moms Move Mountains and we sometimes just need to move out of the way and let our babies walk on their own.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Summertime: emphasis on the 'time'.
Well, summer is just around the corner and the daily fight against boredom will begin. I use several distraction techniques like washing the cars and mowing the lawn, but that only lasts for so long. I try to have a special activity each week they can look forward to like going to the water park or the inside trampoline place, but those activities cost money. Water balloons and Nerf footballs help a lot on those stay-at-home but play outside days. Of course they would play Xbox all day if I let them, but I don't.
I have had a yard sale mostly to give the kids something to do and a way to earn a little money. I often suggest that now is a good time to rearrange your room and clean out clothes and 'toys' (I use that term loosely since my boys are 10, 13 and 14 and they do not play with 'toys' anymore) and suggest we get a new poster or make a new pillow case to add something new. We have built forts out of cardboard or made sling shots from twigs and rubber bands. If you add in a little duct tape then shields and armor become a possibility too.
We don't have enough money to do a 'summer vacation' so we have to make do with what we have. Sometimes we'll binge watch DVD's or something on Netflix. I have all 10 seasons of Friends on DVD and my kids love watching them as much as I do and then afterwards we can play my Friends Trivia board game. We also like to watch Malcolm in the Middle or That 70's Show and I recently introduced them to Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Maybe this summer we should start watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer from the beginning:)
Playing card games and other board games are also a good way to pass the time. Are kids ever too young to understand how to play Blackjack? Apples to Apples is a favorite along with the annual Sponge Bob Monopoly marathon or I might just bust out a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that we all chip away at for a few days. Speaking of cards, my boys also like to practice close-up magic and learn new card tricks; some are more convincing than others but it is always entertaining to see them try.
Last, but not least, we try to play more music in the summer. The boys have guitars, ukuleles and keyboards that they are all learning to play ( some better than others, but I won't name names). They are always so proud when they learn to play the theme song from Halo on the keyboard or strum along with a Bruno Mars song on the ukulele.
I am a working parent like most of you probably are, but I find the key to a fun and successful summer is just spending time with the kids regardless of what we are doing. Our summers together are numbered, as I know all too well having one who has flown the coop already. The kids don't need iPads they just need you. I think my boys need to learn how to iron a shirt this summer and how to make lasagna. Its home economics at home...with mom!
Moms move mountains and know to always retain control of the hose when washing the cars together;)
I have had a yard sale mostly to give the kids something to do and a way to earn a little money. I often suggest that now is a good time to rearrange your room and clean out clothes and 'toys' (I use that term loosely since my boys are 10, 13 and 14 and they do not play with 'toys' anymore) and suggest we get a new poster or make a new pillow case to add something new. We have built forts out of cardboard or made sling shots from twigs and rubber bands. If you add in a little duct tape then shields and armor become a possibility too.
We don't have enough money to do a 'summer vacation' so we have to make do with what we have. Sometimes we'll binge watch DVD's or something on Netflix. I have all 10 seasons of Friends on DVD and my kids love watching them as much as I do and then afterwards we can play my Friends Trivia board game. We also like to watch Malcolm in the Middle or That 70's Show and I recently introduced them to Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Maybe this summer we should start watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer from the beginning:)
Playing card games and other board games are also a good way to pass the time. Are kids ever too young to understand how to play Blackjack? Apples to Apples is a favorite along with the annual Sponge Bob Monopoly marathon or I might just bust out a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that we all chip away at for a few days. Speaking of cards, my boys also like to practice close-up magic and learn new card tricks; some are more convincing than others but it is always entertaining to see them try.
Last, but not least, we try to play more music in the summer. The boys have guitars, ukuleles and keyboards that they are all learning to play ( some better than others, but I won't name names). They are always so proud when they learn to play the theme song from Halo on the keyboard or strum along with a Bruno Mars song on the ukulele.
I am a working parent like most of you probably are, but I find the key to a fun and successful summer is just spending time with the kids regardless of what we are doing. Our summers together are numbered, as I know all too well having one who has flown the coop already. The kids don't need iPads they just need you. I think my boys need to learn how to iron a shirt this summer and how to make lasagna. Its home economics at home...with mom!
Moms move mountains and know to always retain control of the hose when washing the cars together;)
Monday, May 12, 2014
Moms Make Adjustments
So, its been a period of adjusting and there's more to come. One day one of my teenagers does not want to wear the dozens of basketball shorts we have bought over the last year and he needs a new wardrobe. He outgrows his shoes before they get a chance to be worn out. Its great to see your kids change and grow as they develop a clearer sense of self, but it isn't cheap. As I am still trying to lose weight and I am trying to re-use old clothes I kept from my smaller days but it seems I need to lose 5 more pounds before anything in the next box will fit. It can be difficult to maintain a professional look while your body is constantly changing, but buying a new wardrobe every month is not the answer either.
It was just Mother's Day yesterday and I spent it with my grandmother, my mom and my sister. As moms we make sacrifices for our children. We no longer live our lives just for ourselves once we become parents. We have to make a few adjustments from how we sleep and eat, to when we get to do hobbies and workout, and when it comes to our jobs. Sometimes the kids get the short end of the stick, but there is only so much time in the day and those new shoes won't just show up on the doorstep when you need them, now will they?
One thing we tell ourselves as parents is that our sacrifice will be worth it in the end. Will it? If your kids turn out the way you hoped is that the payoff? What if they choose a different path, does that mean you have failed? Many species are content just to give birth to the next generation and their work is done. Maybe placing our own satisfaction in the hands of our children is unrealistic. We do the best we can to raise our children and maybe that should be enough. I am not saying you can't have hopes and dreams for your children's futures, but don't base your worth and happiness on those hopes and dreams coming true.
So here's to the moms who make adjustments everyday and get little in return except the satisfaction of a job well done, with what you had and what you knew at the time. Its all anyone can ask of us.
Moms move mountains sometimes millimeters at a time.
It was just Mother's Day yesterday and I spent it with my grandmother, my mom and my sister. As moms we make sacrifices for our children. We no longer live our lives just for ourselves once we become parents. We have to make a few adjustments from how we sleep and eat, to when we get to do hobbies and workout, and when it comes to our jobs. Sometimes the kids get the short end of the stick, but there is only so much time in the day and those new shoes won't just show up on the doorstep when you need them, now will they?
One thing we tell ourselves as parents is that our sacrifice will be worth it in the end. Will it? If your kids turn out the way you hoped is that the payoff? What if they choose a different path, does that mean you have failed? Many species are content just to give birth to the next generation and their work is done. Maybe placing our own satisfaction in the hands of our children is unrealistic. We do the best we can to raise our children and maybe that should be enough. I am not saying you can't have hopes and dreams for your children's futures, but don't base your worth and happiness on those hopes and dreams coming true.
So here's to the moms who make adjustments everyday and get little in return except the satisfaction of a job well done, with what you had and what you knew at the time. Its all anyone can ask of us.
Moms move mountains sometimes millimeters at a time.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Food Glorious Food
Its Spring Break at my house which means a lot of video games, Netflix, cleaning and making of videos to be posted on Youtube. I also found time to get caught up on Drop Dead Diva and some reading! My focus today though is to talk about food. I have tried many diets or tricks to lose weight from eating half a grapefruit before every meal to eating cheese and salami all day long. The diet change always resulted in about 10 lbs of weight loss in 2 weeks then nothing. Finally from reading many books and attending a week at a Biggest Loser Resort I think I have figured a few things out. I didn't have it all wrong before...I just didn't have it all right.
As soon as you say the word diet people cringe and with good reason, most of them don't work. I have read a lot by Michael Pollan, especially his book 'In Defense of Food', and I was trying to apply what I had learned to my 'diet'. He says many insightful things about food, like that if our great grandparents don't recognize it then we shouldn't eat it. All of the processed food that has been introduced over the past 50 years is causing us to be fat and sick. He also said to eat mostly plants and not too much. Not only does the average American eat a lot of processed food we eat too much meat. A serving size is 4-6 ounces but most Americans consume twice that amount 2-3 times a day. These extra calories turn to fat and make our kidneys work harder than they have to. So the first thing I figured out was that we have been deceived into thinking more is more and a better deal, but it really is less is more and will be a better deal in the long run.
Once I wrapped my head around what a healthy and normal serving size was, I tackled when I ate. I am a classic overachieving busy mom and sometimes I would skip breakfast or I would not eat all day until dinner or, my favorite, drink coffee all day long. Its called break-fast for a reason...you are breaking the fast you were on while sleeping for 7-8 hours and your body needs food to restart your metabolism. I also learned that while a banana has lots of good things like potassium and vitamin C it will raise your blood sugar if eaten alone, so I needed to add protein to my morning meal. Eggs, oatmeal or peanut butter are all good sources of protein. Its also important to have good carbs in the morning and at lunch, like whole grain breads or pasta. I have Dave's Killer spelt bread toast with all natural peanut butter, a banana and a cup of coffee every morning. I am satisfied and ready for my day after that. So remember to eat a good breakfast:)
Maybe you are wondering what kind of progress I have made and I am not afraid to share the details because hiding the facts is what got us into this mess in the first place, right? I weighed 272.3 lbs on December 15th, 2013. This was officially the most I have ever weighed in my life. I seemed to gain about 20-30 permanent pounds with each pregnancy and a nice 20 was added after my knee surgery in 2000. I tried several diets and trainers and once I even lost 60 lbs just to get pregnant again. I have always played soccer, gone jogging and even paid for a personal trainer at the gym, but nothing seemed to be the right combination until now. I have lost 28.5 lbs since that day in December and I lose 1-2 lbs each week. I was a size 20 and now I can squeeze into a few 16's. My journey is far from over and I'm sure there will be roadblocks and potholes to get around and over as I continue on.
I have a lot more to tell you about food, exercise and small changes I have made to my life that I know will keep me going in the right direction. Stay tuned and you can hear all about it and together we can help other busy moms reach their goals! Moms move mountains and sometimes they are covered in bad dieting advice:)
As soon as you say the word diet people cringe and with good reason, most of them don't work. I have read a lot by Michael Pollan, especially his book 'In Defense of Food', and I was trying to apply what I had learned to my 'diet'. He says many insightful things about food, like that if our great grandparents don't recognize it then we shouldn't eat it. All of the processed food that has been introduced over the past 50 years is causing us to be fat and sick. He also said to eat mostly plants and not too much. Not only does the average American eat a lot of processed food we eat too much meat. A serving size is 4-6 ounces but most Americans consume twice that amount 2-3 times a day. These extra calories turn to fat and make our kidneys work harder than they have to. So the first thing I figured out was that we have been deceived into thinking more is more and a better deal, but it really is less is more and will be a better deal in the long run.
Once I wrapped my head around what a healthy and normal serving size was, I tackled when I ate. I am a classic overachieving busy mom and sometimes I would skip breakfast or I would not eat all day until dinner or, my favorite, drink coffee all day long. Its called break-fast for a reason...you are breaking the fast you were on while sleeping for 7-8 hours and your body needs food to restart your metabolism. I also learned that while a banana has lots of good things like potassium and vitamin C it will raise your blood sugar if eaten alone, so I needed to add protein to my morning meal. Eggs, oatmeal or peanut butter are all good sources of protein. Its also important to have good carbs in the morning and at lunch, like whole grain breads or pasta. I have Dave's Killer spelt bread toast with all natural peanut butter, a banana and a cup of coffee every morning. I am satisfied and ready for my day after that. So remember to eat a good breakfast:)
Maybe you are wondering what kind of progress I have made and I am not afraid to share the details because hiding the facts is what got us into this mess in the first place, right? I weighed 272.3 lbs on December 15th, 2013. This was officially the most I have ever weighed in my life. I seemed to gain about 20-30 permanent pounds with each pregnancy and a nice 20 was added after my knee surgery in 2000. I tried several diets and trainers and once I even lost 60 lbs just to get pregnant again. I have always played soccer, gone jogging and even paid for a personal trainer at the gym, but nothing seemed to be the right combination until now. I have lost 28.5 lbs since that day in December and I lose 1-2 lbs each week. I was a size 20 and now I can squeeze into a few 16's. My journey is far from over and I'm sure there will be roadblocks and potholes to get around and over as I continue on.
I have a lot more to tell you about food, exercise and small changes I have made to my life that I know will keep me going in the right direction. Stay tuned and you can hear all about it and together we can help other busy moms reach their goals! Moms move mountains and sometimes they are covered in bad dieting advice:)
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Prioritizing My Priorities
Well, I'm finally making progress on that baby weight I gained after 4 kids and a 17 year marriage and knee surgery. Why did it take so long? It's not because I haven't tried to lose the weight, because I have tried just about everything that didn't sound insane (like the grapefruit diet), but I would always hit a wall after 10 or 15 pounds lost. Was I frustrated and trying to convince myself I didn't need to lose weight? Of course I was and did! People can be happy if they are a size XXXL or a size 24, but I was not happy and that's what gets me to my point....I hadn't been successful before because I didn't make myself a priority.
Every mom knows that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do or that could be done, but we usually put the kids, spouses/significant others and chores above our own needs. This leads to sleep deprived, stressed, under-appreciated and in my case out of shape moms. I have known all along that a good night's sleep will help me be healthy, but I would stay up late working or cleaning just to get up the next morning exhausted and unfulfilled. I made the decision to make sleep a priority and at 11 pm or sooner I would head upstairs to bed. Once I made a few other changes to my priority list I was even able to be in bed by 10 or 10:30 some nights and I now regularly wake up naturally before my alarm.
How did I do it you ask? Its an ongoing process but the first steps involved not caring as much about dishes in the sink and taking the time to explain to the family that they need to do more. As a parent you need to transition from providing them with everything they need as babies and toddlers to teaching them what to do as kids and adolescents. Maybe the dishwasher wasn't loaded exactly how I would have done it, but the goal was for me not to do it, right?
Now 7-8 hours of sleep alone will not solve my problem so the next thing I had to work on was what I ate and when. To find out what I did and how well its working you'll just have to wait and read my next blog posts because its time for me to do some boxing on the Wii!
Moms Move Mountains and Sometimes Those Mountains Are Ourselves
Every mom knows that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do or that could be done, but we usually put the kids, spouses/significant others and chores above our own needs. This leads to sleep deprived, stressed, under-appreciated and in my case out of shape moms. I have known all along that a good night's sleep will help me be healthy, but I would stay up late working or cleaning just to get up the next morning exhausted and unfulfilled. I made the decision to make sleep a priority and at 11 pm or sooner I would head upstairs to bed. Once I made a few other changes to my priority list I was even able to be in bed by 10 or 10:30 some nights and I now regularly wake up naturally before my alarm.
How did I do it you ask? Its an ongoing process but the first steps involved not caring as much about dishes in the sink and taking the time to explain to the family that they need to do more. As a parent you need to transition from providing them with everything they need as babies and toddlers to teaching them what to do as kids and adolescents. Maybe the dishwasher wasn't loaded exactly how I would have done it, but the goal was for me not to do it, right?
Now 7-8 hours of sleep alone will not solve my problem so the next thing I had to work on was what I ate and when. To find out what I did and how well its working you'll just have to wait and read my next blog posts because its time for me to do some boxing on the Wii!
Moms Move Mountains and Sometimes Those Mountains Are Ourselves
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