Mother's Day, More than a Holiday

Tomorrow is the one holiday I think the whole world can get behind and see just how alike we all are.  Its no wonder that the early beginnings of Mother's Day in America started as acts of pacifism against war.  Every mother hurts when a soldier, son or daughter dies.  I would argue motherhood is the oldest profession in the world and not prostitution, but if you disagree, we can have a hearty debate about it some other time.  Tomorrow we celebrate women who have given birth to the next generation.  We honor their sacrifices, praise their achievements and forgive their shortcomings. However you choose to celebrate this day with your mother, and other mother's in your life, its not about how much money you spend on a gift (I got my mom a new blender with a glass pitcher...a practical but exactly what she wants and needs), its about letting the moms of the world know that you haven't taken them for granted.

As a  mom I make sure the kids eat first, then I serve myself.  In some parts of the world this same strategy is used, except there is not always food left for mom.  As a mom I have forgone buying myself new things like shoes or books to make sure I had enough money to get birthday presents or school supplies.  Some mothers work all day away from their children to have enough money to send their children to a neighboring city to attend school, in hopes that someday they will not have to work so hard for the same things.  As a mom I have gone without sleep many nights looking after a sick child, consoling them after a nightmare, or pacing at a window wondering when they were coming home.  Some mothers fear for their childrens' safety every night and walk for hours a day to take them somewhere safe.  My sacrifices seem insignificant compared to many others. 

I chose to have children and take full responsibility for their care.  Its a hard job.  We don't get paid vacation or health benefits, and good luck finding a replacement if you need time off.  Not every woman is cut out to be a mom and some do not figure that out until after they have become one.  I have seen other animals shun or even kill members of their packs or herds if they are poor mothers.  maybe they fail to protect their offspring or it seems their natural instincts to nurture and feed their young never got switched on, but whatever it is the others can sense it and see her as dead weight.  I would like to think as the most intelligent form of life on the planet, that we know of, that we could do a little better. 

Can you think of a way for us to help the mothers who maybe started their journey too soon?  What about the moms who lacked a good mothering role model and seem to be winging it the best they can?  There are moms who have suffered tragedies, moms who have had cancer,  mothers who were beaten, and moms who have lost a child.  I hope on Monday, after we have taken the  time to honor our own mothers, we can turn our energy towards helping other moms here and abroad.  I think I will start right now with a text message to my best friend.  She needs to hear how awesome she is as a mom; all moms want to hear that, so she will hear it from me. Now on Monday who knows what I will come up with: Ronald McDonald house helps families stay close when kids are sick, or I could visit the Women for Women in Africa website to see what I can do for them, or maybe I'll donate needed items to a local women's shelter (like toys for the kids and clothes for the women who sometimes leave in the middle of the night with nothing).  I'm sure you'll think of something brilliant, because moms are some of the msartest people I know.  Happy Mother's Day.

Why are there no clean towels? Didn't I just do laundry?

No one ever said parenthood was sunshine and lollipops, but they also forget to tell you how much laundry you will do and how many pairs of shoes you'll buy.  Its been a busy week of keeping everyone in clean clothes, well fed, well groomed and on top of their homework.  With four kids living at home and all of them in school I never have enough pencils or college ruled paper.  I can only ever find wide ruled...I swear I bought extra college ruled last Fall.  Kalani went to the dentist 3 times because once I forgot the space maintainer they needed to put back in, then the dentist forgot to take off a band and we still have to go back again next week for the new spacer to be put in.  All of the boys got haircuts and Kian showed me the bottom of his red Chuck's and they have worn completely through on the bottom.  Have you tried to follow the directions on a fifth grader's homework lately?  The concepts they need to know are simple enough, but the directions do not always make sense.  Most people would agree that I am pretty smart, so if I can't figure out what they are supposed to do...how is an eleven year old going to know?  (My eleven year old happens to be a perfectionist and hard on himself, so when the two of us get stumped he gets very frustrated.) 

It seems as soon as I solve one problem, like making sure everyone has socks for the next morning, another one pops up.  Where's my iPod?  Has anyone seen my folder?  I need a cold lunch tomorrow because we have a field trip (actually I am hardly ever warned the night before about these things and I am forced to squeeze a trip to the store for lunch supplies into our morning routine).  Do we have any Scotch tape?  I need more lunch money.  Do you have a black Sharpie, mom?  The printer is out of ink and my report is due tomorrow.  I think you get the picture :-) Parents perform small miracles everyday and sometimes we get frustrated or we're convinced we are not good enough.  I doubt myself, my choices, but then I realize the only reason I do these things is because I want to do a good job...I care about doing my best.  I take my frustration out on the bathtub.  That's a win-win situation:  I feel better and the tub is spotless.  Then I take a long hot bath and watch Hulu on my Nook.  Now I'm ready to try this parenting thing again.  We have eye doctor appointments next week and more dentist appointments in two weeks, then check-ups with the pediatrician this Summer.  I need to pick up tape, college ruled paper and triple A batteries tomorrow and this weekend Kian will need some new shoes. 

My reward for all my hard work as the CEO, CFO and COO of this family is when my son gives me a hug and a kiss before school and says 'I love you.'  My reward is when another son climbs into my bed in the morning with 30 minutes left before the alarm.  My reward is when the other son brings up his grades in school with a little hard work.  My reward is when I see someone has posted a video of my daughter singing and playing the ukulele.  I wouldn't mind an Exxon size bonus, but that is not going to happen unless I win the lottery, so I take what I can get.  What's your reward?